I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
