you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
