I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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