They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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