The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
