We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
