Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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