I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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