god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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