did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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