a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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