What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i think my mom watched the whole time
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
