the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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