Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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