He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
