My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
