This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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