You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
