I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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