just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
