well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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