Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Drake has all the answers
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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