dude i'm inner monologue high
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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