wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
