I'll bet she douches with gravy.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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