just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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