i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
