I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
