Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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