I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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