once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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