I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize