a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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