At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
