You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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