she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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