My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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