hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize