he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
