There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
