I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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