You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
