I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
