Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
