she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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