you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I understand Curling. That high.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
