so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Couch. On fire.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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