you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
