I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
