Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
