Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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