He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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