So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
