Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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