My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
its not stalking. its research.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Don't tell me you're on acid again
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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