So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
