Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
