Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
