I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
