i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
