Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
