how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
