I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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